This week is the week that we have set aside a day to be thankful for the blessings we have received. I have to keep reminding my children that this is not “Turkey day”, but Thanksgiving. We are not celebrating the turkey, just the blessing of having the turkey (all 17 lbs worth in my house).
These past few years have been difficult on many- we have war, recession, unemployment, H1N1, foreclosures and many other things that impact our lives. For some people, they might find it a struggle to smile, and give heartfelt thanks this year. Now you might say, “but aren’t we supposed to give thanks in all things”? Well yes we are, but in the real world, with real hurt and real struggle, being truly thankful at times is not just a matter of obeying a command. To be truly thankful we often have to move past hurt feelings, grief, disappointment, unfulfilled dreams, a drained bank account, wayward children, lost jobs, …. and discover in the middle of this pile the nuggets of God’s work to focus our attention on. That is not always easy.
This year has been a tremendous mixed bag for me. God has been so faithful to us, but He has been faithful in the middle of very difficult year. I could easily take the rest of this blog to tell you of all my struggles and pain- the passing of my mom being the hardest things I have ever endured- but that is life. Life has bumps, hills, potholes, sinkholes, tornadoes, hurricanes, floods- just stuff and lots of it.
I like the lyrics to a song by Darryl Worley “Sounds Like Life to Me“.
Got a call last night from an old friend’s wife
Said I hate to bother you
Johnny Ray fell off the wagon
He’s been gone all afternoon
I know my buddy so I drove to Skully’s
And found him at the bar
I say hey man, what’s going on
He said I don’t know where to start
Sarah’s old car’s about to fall apart
And the washer quit last week
We had to put momma in the nursing home
And the baby’s cutting teeth
I didn’t get much work this week
And I got bills to pay
I said I know this ain’t what you wanna hear
But it’s what I’m gonna say
Sounds like life to me it ain’t no fantasy
It’s just a common case of everyday reality
Man I know it’s tough but you gotta suck it up
To hear you talk you’re caught up in some tragedy
It sounds like life to me
Well his face turned red and he shook his head
He said you don’t understand
Three kids and a wife depend on me
And I’m just one man
To top it off I just found out
That Sarah’s 2 months late
I said hey bartender set us up a round
We need to celebrate
Sounds like life to me plain old destiny
Yeah the only thing for certain is uncertainty
You gotta hold on tight just enjoy the ride
Get used to all this unpredictability
Sounds like life
I particularly like the last part- the only thing for certain is uncertainty, you have to hold on tight just enjoy the ride, get used to all this unpredictability, sounds like life to me. Life is uncertain. Life is full of situations that we wish never would have happened. Life is full of times we wish we could go back and change. Life is also full of beautiful times, beautiful things and beautiful people. Life happens, but in the midst of life we have to find the beautiful things to feed our faith. This is not sappy optimism or stick your fingers in your ears and pretend like nothing is happening, this is a deliberate choice to choose to focus my attention upon God and His goodness rather than the evils and pains of this world. It’s not as if we are not acknowledging our pain, I just choose not to stay there.
When my mom passed away this past April, I was devastated. It has taken me a whole lot longer to move forward than I could have imagined. The hurt was deep. My mom has always been a source of strength for me and knew how to encourage me at just the right time in just the right way. She showed me how to live life, even in difficult times, with grace and resilience. I not only lost my mom, but a great part of my support. I had the wonderful privilege of speaking at her service. As we closed the service in prayer these words flowed across my lips that I had no idea would come, but I will never forget. “Lord, I wished this day would never come. I would have wanted another day, another week, another year, another lifetime with my mom… but Lord I am so thankful today for every day that you gave me with her. My life is so much richer because you blessed me with her…”. That is the one thought that has really helped me- “my life is so much richer because you blessed me with her”.
No one promised us on this side of heaven that good things last forever, in fact the Bible tells us that this world, and all that is in it, including us, is passing away. But drawing from that well of pain emerged a beautiful thought, I have been blessed. I did not earn it, deserve it, work for it, God placed this beautiful and strong woman as my mother, and I am thankful. Now I could choose to focus on what I don’t have anymore, her presence with me, but death is unfortunately a part of life. I can fuss at the unfairness of it all. I could wallow in misery saying no one understands me. But my experience is not uncommon to the normal course of life. Death comes. It is a part of living in this world. If I would let it, the bad things of this life could drive me into depression, anger, sadness, helplessness… but that would not be living a life of faith. Faith focuses on God’s work, even when life seems dark and oppressive.
I suppose we could spend our short time here in misery and frustrated, like much of the world does, because it does not have enough, it can keep what is has and it can’t figure out how to maintain perfect happiness… or we can see that the world is an imperfect place, face our troubles, thumb our nose at the devil and give God thanks for what we have in this world and beyond.
Here is what I mean… my wife is not perfect, but I am eternally grateful that God has blessed me with her and her many ways of blessing me and encouraging me; my kids aren’t perfect, but I am thankful for them and grateful God has given me the opportunity, and privilege, to parent them and see them grow into young men and women; my finances are far from perfect, but I am grateful for what i do have- we have not gone hungry a single day, the roof is over our head and the heat is on; my health is not perfect, the pill bottles in the bathroom tell me so, but I am grateful I have the health to experience this life God has given me and serve Him; I am not where I wanted to be at my age, certainly not where I envisioned myself being, but I am grateful for what I look around and do see in my life; and mostly… I am not perfect, but God still chooses to love me, forgive me, have patience with me, comfort me…. yea, I could choose to be miserable because this world is an imperfect place (and by the way, one reason the world is imperfect is because you and I are in it), but I would rather look up and be thankful for all that I do have.
Can I maintain perfect happiness in this world- no, and Jesus even told me so…
John 16:33 (NLT)
I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world
Notice the surety with which Jesus speaks- you will have trials and sorrows, not may have, could have, or it’s a possibility… you will have. This life is going to put it on all of us, so how we respond is an individual choice. In our hard times we can choose to throw our pity party, we can wallow in our PLOM syndrome (Poor Lil’ Ol’ Me), we can throw a temper tantrum and roll on the ground… or we can choose to rise above. Make the choice that Jesus made. So where do we see Jesus giving thanks in His difficult times? Look at this verse…
Luke 22:19
And He took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them saying, “This is My body which is given for you; do this in remembrance of Me”
As Jesus faced the cross and was, in His last moments, teaching His disciples about the meaning of His death, He gave thanks. Thanks for what? Thanks for the fulfillment of God’s plan. Thanks for the relationship that was going to be born through this pain. Thanks for the faith that many would show in Him. Thanks for the eternal difference that He was about to make… But that also meant that He was going to endure suffering, and He thanked the Father anyway.
Now you and I will probably never face a cross, but the example has been set for us. Even in the difficulties, find the places and pieces to be thankful for. Our common human experience tells us that we all are going to experience difficulty, some maybe more than others, but as Christians we also share a common truth- God is good. Take some time this week to journal or think about just how good God has been- not how difficult life is- and you will have a happier Thanksgiving.
I pray that this holiday will be filled with blessings for you and your family and that as you reflect on the goodness of God in the midst of your life, that your faith will be lifted and your joy more full.