More Character, Less Reputation (Part 2)

As I was writing my last post on Character or Reputation, a thought came to mind that I tucked away for a part two. There is a lot of discussion about this topic today, with “character” education in our schools, sensitivity training in our workplaces and the homogenization of faith systems and their codes of conduct in society, we wonder what counts as character, Godly- Christlike character, and what is really just fluff.

Having a reputation is something talked about in many ways today. Reputation could be the “gossip” about a celebrity. Reputation could be the act you put on for other people so they will think well of you. Reputation could be your online persona, filled with lies and grand ideas of who you would like to be, but are not. Brad Paisley wrote an awesome song called “Online” that captures the idea of  loving someone you would like to be, a reputation you would like to have, but aren’t…

I work down at The Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I’m five foot three and overweight
I’m a sci: fi fanatic, mild asthmatic
Never been to second base
But there’s a whole ‘nother me
That you need to see
Go check out Myspace.

‘Cause online I’m out in Hollywood
I’m six foot five and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati, I’m a black belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell ’em I don’t want nothing serious
‘Cause even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat
With two women at one time.

I’m so much cooler online
I’m so much cooler online.

It is one thing to have a healthy desire to be better than you are and to want to be smarter, thinner, taller, wealthier… but there is a line we cross when what we want to become overtakes who we really are.

Here is something to think about…

Reputation is what we love about ourselves

Character is what God loves about us

To some that may seem a little overdone. God loves us faults and all, that is true. But God does not always like what we do nor does He put His stamp of approval on just any act or thought we have. Reputation is loving us for what we believe will gain us advantage or favor with others- i.e. If I was thinner, more people would look my way, if I was only funny more people would like me- and then we try hard to be that person. Not necessarily because it is who we truly are or who God wants us to be, but because we would love ourselves more if we were like that…

Another thought…

The first commandment was to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength. The second was to love our neighbor as ourselves… not impress our neighbor, catch our neighbors eye, not fool our neighbor about who we are… love them as we love ourselves. Unfortunately, many of us loathe ourselves, not because we lack Godly character, but because we feel that our reputation does not match up to what the world expects or at least the little group of people that we want to like us. I can’t love my neighbor if I loathe myself and I can’t really love God the way I should either.

What this boils down to is a question- “who are you really trying to make happy?” Be honest. The answer can be telling. For most of us, we have to admit, much of what we do, and say, has to do with how other people will receive us. For me, I am an extrovert, talkative, love a good laugh… and have been in public speaking for nearly 20 years. So yes, I am very aware of how people respond to me. And yes, I have been guilty of letting people’s response to me to drive what I say or how I say it. And each time it happens, I don’t like it. I want to be more aware of what God is wanting from me each day. It’s not the “What would Jesus do” thinking. It is simply realizing that I want to make God happy, and that comes when the fruit of the Spirit, the true character of Jesus flows through my life.

This isn’t deep theology or pop psychology, it is a love relationship, the kind where I want my wife to be happy with me because I love her and show her that I love her everyday, not because I can impress her by flexing my muscles. The kind of love relationship where I love my kids by doing what is best for them, and consistently disciplining them to help them grow up, not buying them everything they want and letting them do whatever they want so they will like me. This kind of character is deep, rooted in our relationship with God, not shallow and hallow reputation that can go away in the blink of an eye.

More character, less reputation. More love, less lust. More compassion, less judgment. More help, less well wishes. More giving, less talking. More encouragement, less criticism. More sharing, less taking. More God, less us.

Character or Reputation?

I was combing through some old files the other day and ran across this, I don’t remember where I got it or who wrote it, but it struck me as something that in this day and age we need to be reminded of…

Do You Have Character or a Reputation?

Reputation is seeming; character is being.

Reputation is manufactured; character is grown.

Reputation is your photograph; Character is your face.

Reputation is what men say you are;

character is what God knows you are.

Reputation is what you need to get a job;

character is what you need to keep it.

Reputation is what comes over you from without;

character is what rises up within.

Reputation is what you have when you come to town;

character is what you have when you go away.

Reputation is what is chiseled on your tombstone;

character is what the angels say about you

before the throne of God.

When I think about the situation that I am going through now, as we make our transition to a “new” place. I will meet new people and encounter new opportunities to live out my Christian life. As I do this, will I encounter people hoping that they will be impressed by the reputation I have or will I allow the character of God to show through?

What is the difference? If I can take some literary license from the quote above..

*  Reputation is what I want people to think of me, character is who God wants me to be…

This is the issue that so many of our politicians and leaders find themselves in today, they are more interested in the latest poll than what is right or good or holy. But before we feel all smug, we need to take a good look in the mirror- is that us as well. Do we laugh at jokes that God would not find funny, just to fit in? Do we want to be liked so much that we will work the gossip mill, so that others won’t think we are a prude?

* Reputation is word around town, character is The Word working in your life…

So if everyone likes you, that is really good?  Well if you are running for office it may be, but not if you want to live a Christian life.  Why you might ask? Doesn’t Jesus call us to be nice to everybody and make a good impression? Yes, but also remember Jesus’ words- “if they hated me, they will hate you”. The only group of people that the Bible describes as wanting the approval of everyone was the Pharisees. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be classified with that group. If I live a Godly life, I can expect some push back from the world. The evil in this world will not like it, and it will show through in the disapproval of some people. If there is one thing that I have learned in almost 17 years of ministry- there is no such thing as pleasing all the people, so quit now and live to please God.

* Reputations change with our circumstances, character is consistent

As I have gone through this last 7 months or so with my family being in financial difficulty, God has shown me that stress is a symptom not a cause of my circumstances. Often we blame “what I am going through” for a lack of Christ-like character. Yet God is not looking for a convenient excuse, in fact He is not impressed with excuses. I believe it was Benjamin Franklin that said, “I have never met a man who was good at making excuses, that was much good at anything else”. If your reputation is good when things are going good (I give when I have extra money, I attend church when I have time, I serve when it is convenient…), then your doing is not based on Christ-like character, it is merely the work of the flesh, doing what you want to do. Character does what it is supposed to do, and more, because it is motivated by a love of God first and foremost (Jesus said that loving God is the first and greatest of all commandments)

* Reputations take work to maintain, character flows from who you are

Do you know people that have to lie or comment or go somewhere or see a movie or like a group or don;t like a person or (fill in the blank) because it makes them look better in the eyes of those they are around at the moment?  Reputations have to be maintained because they are based in the moment and are motivated by the people that are around or the situation that is happening. That takes work. That takes manipulating the moment and keeping up with what you said earlier. Your life, your life of living with Jesus coming through, should flow. You can’t manipulate Holy Spirit living, you have to let it flow. The reason many Christians struggle is that they try to take the same approach to Christian living as they do to the office- “have to say the right thing, have to be in the right place, etc”. You can’t manipulate your way through the Christian life- you will be miserable.

No endearing words as we close, just think to yourself, or better yet ask God, “Lord, do I have a reputation or do I truly have Christ-like character?”