Have we confused preferences with righteousness?

My rights. My choices. My vote. My voice. My opinion.

Do these things sound familiar in our culture?  We have groups in our cutlure who are screaming for their voice and views to be heard. We have gay rights, womens rights and labor unions promoting worker rights. We have disenfranchised voters, minority groups, and political parties. We have a media that is run on polls, a web full of blogs promoting personal views and preferences. Expressnig our opionion, no matter how ridiculous or off beat it may be,  has become a personal cross for many people.

Do we also see these same concepts at work in the church?  You don’t have to be around the church long  before you see the same things taking place. Preference seems to be the order of the day within the workings of the church, just like you see in our society.  Ask any worship leader, do people have musical preferences? He will laugh…or cry, but he will affirm that church people have preferences.  Ask any church treasurer, do people have preferences on how the church money is spent?  He might have a panic attack, but he will affirm that church people have preferences.  Ask any pastor who is trying to do something new in a church, do church people have preferences?  He might ball up in the fetal position, but he will affirm that church people have preferences.

So, what’s the big deal? Everyone has preferences, right?

The big deal is that in the church we often confuse our preferences with righteousness. Our preferences have become our standard. The only one who’s preferences are perfect and right is God… and none of us are Him. Let’s take a look at these two concepts.

Preference-

The selecting of someone or something over another or others.

The right or chance to so choose or make personal choices

Righteousness-

holy and upright living, in accordance with God’s standard. The word “righteousness” comes from a root word that means “straightness.” It refers to a state that conforms to an authoritative standard. Righteousness is a moral concept. God’s character is the definition and source of all righteousness (Gen. 18:25; Deut. 32:4; Rom. 9:14). Therefore, the righteousness of human beings is defined in terms of God’s standards. Youngblood, R. F., Bruce, F. F., Harrison, R. K., & Thomas Nelson Publishers. (1995). Nelson’s new illustrated Bible dictionary. Rev. ed. of: Nelson’s illustrated Bible dictionary.; Includes index. Nashville: T. Nelson.

Now, let’s ask again, what is the big deal about preferences? The problem comes when we confuse our personal choices with the morality of God’s perfect character. In other words, “I like” equals “God likes”.  We might say it another way, if I don’t like a certain style, a certain song, a certain way of doing things… then obviously God does not like it either. Worse yet, sometimes people don’t even take into account whether or not God likes it, the only things we care about is that I like or don’t like it.

Some may still be asking, what’s wrong with that?

Let’s take some time to look forward, to the day that we will all face our Lord. Now imagine yourself bowing before Jesus and breaking out into song (with all respect to Frank Sinatra)….

And now, the end is here
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain
I’ve lived a life that’s full
I traveled each and ev’ry highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Regrets, I’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
“Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way”

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows and did it my way!

Now imagine Jesus’ reaction to you… does He applaud?…does He laugh?….does He have a quizzical look on His face? or is He saddened by your thought that doing it your way was so important to you?

When Jesus walked the earth, He made it clear that what He did, what He spoke and the plan that He was fulfilling was not a matter of choice, but a matter of following the Father’s direction. Listen to these words…

John 8   ²⁸ Then Jesus said to them, “When you lift up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am He, and that I do nothing of Myself; but as My Father taught Me, I speak these things. ²⁹ And He who sent Me is with Me. The Father has not left Me alone, for I always do those things that please Him.” ³⁰ As He spoke these words, many believed in Him.

Simply put, you cannot always do the things that please God, as Jesus did,  and choose all of your preferences at the same time.  Something has to give. Someone has to back off of their “side”. Unfortunately the same thing that is said of God is often said of us- “with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” (James 1:17)  God does not change, in character, in love, in righteousness. Some of us are the same, we never adjust to follow God, we just have our ways and our opinions and that is just the way it is.

When we refuse to bend to God’s rightousness and yet still want to feel right with God, we are left with only one choice– To create God in our own image.  We don’t want to change to be like God, so we change God to be like us. As we mentioned before, God likes what I like, thinks like I think, hates what I hate, tolerates what I tolerate, excuses what I excuse and is happy about what I am happy about…. all the time.

Let’s bring this down to a practical level…

1) In worship…. if we emphasize our preferences:  fight to have the kind of music we like, refuse to sing a song because we don’t like the tune, only give an offering when we feel like it in the amount we want to give, criticize those who don’t dress like we think they should, complain when the service “runs over”…. when we fight to get it our way, who is the worship service really about?  That would be us. When we exercise and enforce our preferences, it stops being about God and starts being about us. Last time I checked God still had the idea that He, and He alone, was worthy of worship and that worship, imagine this, is supposed to be to Him, for Him and about Him.

I was reminded of something this week, which caused me to rewrite this part of the blog. Check out Hebrews 10:19-25. It spells out the priorities that God has set for worship…

* Enter into God’s presence… on His terms, through the person of Jesus Christ

* Draw near to God… not through your presence in church, but through faith. I don’t draw near to God by following man made rules or preferences, but by humbly approaching God in reverence and awe.

* Have your heart clean…you can’t worship on your terms with your sin filling you, be forgiven through the blood of Jesus Christ

* Believe… worship is loving God, trusting that He really is as awesome, wonderful, powerful and merciful as He says He is. Faith is not having my wishes fulfilled, it is humbling believing that God has the right to have His way.

* Stir up one another for good works… Here is the killer- if we are enforcing our personal preferences on everyone else, are we really considering anyone besides ourselves?  Are we stirring anyone up to love God more and serve Him more willingly?  No. In fact, whether we realize it or not, our constant complaint and unhappiness because we are not getting our way often makes those around us spiritually miserable and emotionally drained.

* Keep at it…don’t forsake gathering together, even if there is something there you don’t like. Can you imagine what would happen if God took that attitude?  What if God decided not to show up because we were doing something He did not like…let’s ask a simple question, if you are not invited to the party, do you show up?  If worship is about you, God is not invited and He does not share top billing with anyone…

2) Serving God

We are called to serve God “acceptably” (Heb 12:28). If there is an acceptable way to serve God, who gets to set the standards for service? Does the servant tell the Master how he is going to serve?  Does the employee tell the boss what he will and will not do?  Can you imagine walking into your bosses office and telling them, “I know you want me to do this project this way, but I have decided that I am going to do it this way”.  You might be employed at the end of the day, but just barely.

God can call us to do anything He wishes. Anything. Henry Blackaby in Experiencing God says, that when you call Jesus Lord, you give Him the right to your life anytime He wishes.  Somewhere along the way, we have come to believe that serving God is for our pleasure and at our pleasure, God should be happy to accept whatever I decide to give Him… and I will be righteous for it. Friends, we can’t do what we want and then demand that God bless us and give us good standing with Him.

So what is the proper place for our preferences?

First of all, they are subject to God’s commands and character. I can’t say, “well I am just that way”, and expect God to be happy. He calls us all to change and adjust ourselves to His ways and His heart. A preference does not override a command. The problem is we are very aware of our preferences, but often unaware of God’s commands.

Secondly, realize that preferences work within the framework of God’s commands and character. God created each of us as individuals, as such no two of us are completely alike.  God makes it that way and likes it that way. But He expects you to use your individuality to serve Him, not use our individuality to enforce our individuality.

Thirdly, preferences are meant to work with God and with others. We have taken preferences to new heights in importance, seeking to place them above others and God. God has designed the body to work with each other and compliment each other. If your perference is hindering the work of the body, then it is not a matter of everyone changing to adjust to you, but you suppressing your preference for the greater good.

Lord, you have made us all individuals, and we are greater that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. But we confess we have taken our individuality too far, and forsake many of your commands and sacrificed your body, your church, in our pursuit of our own preferences. Forgive us where we have lacked obedience to your ways, where we have confused our preferences with your righteousness. Bless your work within us Lord and help us to be more and more aware of how you wish us to live.